Age five is a beautiful time - full of pretend play, movement, and emerging personalities. It can also be an age of shyness and apprehension, especially in new situations. As a parent, you want your child to feel at ease during a photo session so their genuine expressions shine through. Here are some simple yet powerful tips to help your shy 5-year-old feel comfortable, making the experience enjoyable for everyone involved.
Before the session
Talk or Play About the Experience
Five-year-olds are becoming increasingly aware of the world around them, and it can feel overwhelming. Talking, reading, or engaging in pretend play about the photo session experience can help them feel prepared. If words feel overwhelming, try using a visual schedule - simple drawings or pictures that represent each step of the day, like getting dressed, meeting the photographer, and having fun.
Play Therapy: Practice Makes Perfect
One of my favorite strategies for both kids and adults is play therapy. You and your child can take turns pretending to be the photographer and the subject. By role-playing the session ahead of time, you release tension and make the experience more familiar and fun. For example, your child might say, "I'm going to take your picture!" and you can hide playfully, turning a nervous experience into a shared laugh.
Build Intrinsic Motivation
Motivation is most powerful when it comes from within. Kids, like adults, are more engaged and willing to participate when they feel personally invested rather than motivated by external things. Start early by involving your child in the planning process. Ask for their thoughts on the session - whether it’s the idea of a fun family activity, a little adventure like searching for rainbows, or bringing their favorite toy along. When they feel a sense of ownership, they're more likely to be excited and comfortable.
day of the session
Physical Closeness
For many shy kids, physical closeness to a parent can provide the comfort they need. Holding hands, being picked up, or simply standing next to you can make a world of difference. If they want to be glued to you at the beginning - that's completely fine! It's a natural way for them to feel safe.
calm energy
There's a tendency towards high-energy for family sessions, but it's possible that could feel overwhelming for your shy 5-year-old. Instead, we adults can focus on keeping our bodies calm and regulated, speaking in calm tones and engaging in quiet 1-1 interactions can help them to feel at ease.
Give Them a Job
Shy children might feel powerless in new situations, which can increase their nervousness. We can empower your child by giving them a role in the session. Let them choose where to stand, suggest a pose, or even take a picture themselves. By giving them responsibility, we boost their confidence and make them feel more in control.
Share What They Love
Help the photographer by sharing details about what your child loves - whether it’s their favorite toy, a beloved blanket, or a specific game. This way, the photographer can incorporate these things into the session, making it more comfortable and familiar for your child.
Comfort Is Key
Let your child bring along their favorite items, whether it's a cherished stuffed animal or a toy car. For sensitive kids, familiar objects can be a big comfort. Similarly, avoid new or uncomfortable clothing. Let them wear something they love, even if it’s not what you envisioned. The goal is to help them feel good in their skin.
remember, we're a team
I think that one of the biggest misconceptions about photo sessions is that the photographer is in charge. In reality, we’re a team - parents, kids, and photographer working together. My role is to capture your moments, and your role is to enjoy the experience. Don’t be afraid to say what you want or need during the session, and I'll provide guidance to make the light and composition work beautifully.
we've got this
Helping your shy 5-year-old feel comfortable during a photo session is all about preparation, patience, and partnership. By engaging them beforehand, staying calm on the day, and creating opportunities for them to take the lead, you’ll set the stage for capturing authentic, beautiful memories.
Sometimes, your child may need time to warm up, and that’s perfectly okay. By staying patient, engaged, and focusing on love and connection, you create a relaxed environment where your child’s true personality can shine through.
I look forward to supporting you and your shy 5 year old have a beautiful experience and make meaningful memories. Thanks for reading!
